Another Fat Guy Blogging About Weight Loss Plans

Why blog about this?

Yep, this is another entry going out to the blogosphere about someone's weight problem and what they're going to do to get in shape.  There are probably 1,000s of blogs out there which are better written, more inspiring and highly informative.  So, this undertaking really isn't for everyone else, its for me. 

It's my situation that brings me here.  Being alone, I really don't have someone around to tell me to stop doing things that I shouldn't.  There's no one here to say, 'get off Facebook' or 'don't eat that' or 'let's go do something today'.  I sit here and eat and add calories to my mass instead of burning them off.  Those moments where I do go out and try to be active are getting harder and harder each time because I'm not maintaining my health in between.  Ideally, I would have a drill instructor next to me 24/7 for the next 4 weeks yelling at me until I've adopted new, permanent and good habits.

I hope that by making this public, it might make me a more responsible member of society.  Therefore, I'll feel like I owe status updates to the world showing improvement over time.

Where am I at today?

Dimensions:
I'm 39 years old, 6'0" tall and 56" around the gut at the belly button.  I weighed 337 lbs on Monday morning.  Right now, my heart is beating hard, which I believe is due to the martini I had with dinner.  This has been happening off and on for the past 2 weeks, so I'm going to have to put the alcohol away for the rest of the year.  If this doesn't do it, I'll re-attempt getting someone at the VA to follow through with scheduling a doctors appointment for me.

Exercise:
I walked a round trip of 1.5 miles out to the of the Seal Beach pier twice today and have made that my goal for every day.  Well, at least I've put it on my calendar.  The only pain I feel is my lower back and achilles.  The ankles will feel better as I stretch each time after walking and the back will improve if I actually do this each day.  I also did some crunches and push ups.  I have my Fitbit and will first seek 10,000 steps/day and then strive for 12,500 steps/day.  I'll also log my activity in Fitocracy.

Diet:
For the past several weeks I've been eating all the crap I've had in my apartment without replacing it.  I've also enjoyed a few meals at various restaurants that I like.  Only this time, each meal that I've had, I consciously enjoyed it as if it was the last time I was ever going to eat that thing.  So what's left?  I still have the stuff to make 2 or 3 more peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.  And the remainder of the food that I have is fresh fruits, vegetables, nuts, berries, eggs, juice and yogurt.  Drinks include some orange juice, coffee, ginger ale, Monster energy, tea, Gatorade and several bottles of liquor.  My plan is to for now on, only buy the least processed food that I can without being ridiculous about it.  Caffeine will be the last thing to go if at all.  Once I get down to just having fruits, vegetables and good source of protein, I'll begin a transition to where juicing and smoothies dominate my diet.

Got some new head phones.  The others were good and I really liked them because they were the first pair I ever had that actually stayed in my ear.  This was possible primarily because I could swap out the buds with the different sizes I need for each ear.  Unfortunately these Phillips headphones lived their entire live in my back pack and I guess after a year or so of always being in the sun, the cords started to break down and got sticky.  The sound is still good, but I don't like them sticking to everything.  I try to cut expenses by not replacing things until they are really broken and unrepairable but I just couldn't live with that cord sticking to my face.  It gets annoying after a while.

http://www.skullcandy.com/shop/titan-red-black

So I got some Skullcandy Titans and am really enjoying them. The bass is the best I've ever had on headphones including a pair of over the ear Sennheisers that I cost twice as much.  I'm aware that I've got to be careful about blasting it too much or I'll end up loosing my hearing too soon.

Now that I've got great sound coming into my head, the only thing that's missing from the club experience is being able to feel the bass on my chest, someone needs to develop a pad, which simulates that experience and I can slip into my shirt.

New Career Path

Last week I gave up on earning a Master's in Biology.  I just couldn't see a way to justify the future costs of continuing on with the program.  The data that I had gathered over the summer didn't really show anything significant and there wasn't any additional resources available to me for gathering more data.  Furthermore, all of the people I know who have recently earned their master's in biology only could get jobs where a master's degree wasn't required.  Also a master's is not required for most of the biologist jobs I have found within the federal government.

So, now I am pursuing a degree in computer science.  This fits me since I sit at the computer the majority of my day and should learn how to build the websites and software that I'd like to see.  My plan is to start with an A.A. and combine that knowledge with what I already know about biology and begin building the websites and software that are needed in the biological sciences.

This concludes my first week on my new path.  I think I have the routine down and will begin executing this plan in earnest tomorrow.

Since my most recent 2-day juice fast, I've had juice for at least one of, if not, two of my meals each day.  Today I had my regular carrot, celery & citrus drink for breakfast and then a leafy green drink for lunch.  I felt great all day, got a lot of work done and didn't even realize that I was operating on very few calories consumed.  I had a nice dinner and dessert afterward.  This experience leads me to think I could probably just keep going this way, with one or two juices as a meal replacement and then a regular meal without having to actually fast for weeks at a time.  The trick will be to not binge when I do eat, which seems likely for me since on the drive back to my apartment this evening, I considered stopping at a fast food restaurant and decided not to without having to draw upon much willpower.

2nd Juice fast

I'm down to a 55" abdomen following a 5 backpacking trip to Mammoth Lakes, California.  It was quite arduous but I made it.  It also has taken a couple days to recover.  I've overeaten a little since coming back but will be attempting a 2-day juice fast again.  The necessary items are in the fridge, and I just have a yogurt and some granola to eat for dinner and that'll be my last solid food for a couple days.

Day 2

Woke up thinking about food.  Going to make a very light green tea to reduce caffeine intake.  Can feel movement and gurgling in my intestines.

By 11 AM, I found myself looking forward to having one of the juices that I made earlier in the day.  Hopefully this means that my fatguy personality is beginning to accept that its not going to get cheeseburger or taco anytime soon.  And now its looking forward to anything with more flavor than lemon water.

Wasted about an hour of my afternoon on youtube videos, looking up random things on the internet and checking for facebook updates.  As I did these things my desire to quit the fast increased.  I find myself thinking, "your an adult you can do want you want."   And "who made up these rules anyway, you did, so you can break them and since no one else knows about this fast no one will know that you quit."  Which means I 1) should tell some that might care.  2) finish my blog articles and publish them. And 3) get off my ass and stop succumbing to my vices.  Clearly, the sedentary lifestyle beckons me to consume food.

I also think that I'm lead to satisfy one vice (surfing the net) it opens the door to my entertaining other vices (eating and more surfing).  But when I'm accomplishing goals it motivates me to accomplish more goals. 

By later afternoon there much more gurgling and movement in my gut.  Also, I started having a short mild headaches which go away after a couple minutes.  Probably need to drink more water I think.  Although I am consuming ~1 gallon of water per day.

By the end of the evening I was having more frequent headaches and started to feel very light headed.  I decided to stop after two days.  The thing about is that I don't feel like a looser for doing so.  I feel good that I was able to go for two days.  Furthermore on my way back to the apartment I didn't feel like going to some fast food place either.  So its sort of like I have 2 half-wins.  I was good with eating a sensible meal without over indulging.  Which gives me pause to think that maybe this is a good pattern to follow, perhaps I should juice for two days each week.

End of 1st day juice fasting

Abdomen 56.25"
Activity level: 13,469 steps walking

Didn't finish my green tea which I started this morning as a replacement for a regular cup of black coffee.  Had a sip in late afternoon and noticed that my heart rate increased way more than normal for the simple walk that I was on.
Also my desire for food is increased throughout the day.  My, "Hulk, smash!" mantra helps.  Also, I've been able to occupy my time, either with a walk, some busy work or some music to keep my mind focused on things.  I also discovered that songs I had defined as inspirational seem to have increased in their power to keep me inspired.

I am also becoming more aware of the moments and triggers which cause me to want to eat.  For instance after walking for 10 minutes, I sat down and immediately started thinking about what I would do after work, which included watching an episode of Star Trek while eating.  I had to remind myself that I had started a juice fast and that this meal would have to wait until Tuesday.
This thought brings me to another trigger.  As I was thinking through my plans for Tuesday which includes deciding which solid meals to eat I immediately started to think about celebrating with a burrito.  "NOOOO!" I said outloud to no one.  Having experienced a high level of health in the past, I had to remind myself that I know a salad with some light dressing will actually taste pretty damn good.  So, to make it more like an epic win celebration, perhaps I'll pay someone to make it for me.

Got back to my apartment and immediately started prepping for my day's success with a juice made from cantaloupe and strawberries, which was delicious.  I should eat these fruits this way all the time.

Now that I'm sitting down after juicing and cleaning up, I am feeling a little light headed.  Probably should have had a third regular juice during the day.  It is a somewhat difficult weekend to do this because I'm monitoring endangered birds on a wildlife refuge for 12 hours a day, so I have to bring my juice with me, when I should be drinking them immediately after making them.  The upside is that there are no fast food restaurants or kitchens for that matter, on the wildlife refuge either.  Tomorrow I'll make appropriate amounts of juice and bring 2 of them with me to work.  Giving me 4 for the day.

Time to Hulk up

So, I'm halfway through the first day.  I'm feeling fine.  Stomach and intestines gurgle once in a while.  Occasionally, the desire for food pops in my head, mild cravings so far include: Taco Bell and lasagna.  I smash these thoughts and cravings as though I was the Incredible Hulk using his catch-phrase.  A couple of times I've even said "smash" outloud.  Midday time for the beet and cucumber juice.  I dislike the taste of beets; its my number one least favorite food item and I don't have a number 2 least favorite food item.  But, I accepted the beets into this fast because they are good for you.

Well.  So, it here goes.   Gross.  The most positive thing I can say is that the color of the juice is pretty.  Having added cucumber makes it taste less like a beet.  But that flavor does dominate the drink still.

Attempting a juice fast

Abdomen: 56.5"
Weight >320 lbs (my bathroom scales top out at 308.5, but was able to use a friend's scale last week and I was 321 pounds then and around 56")
Activity level: 14,200 steps today

I used to think that overeating differed from alcoholism and smoking addiction in that people with those habits could theoretically stop doing those things altogether and not die. Whereas one simply can not just stop eating. When it comes to my addictions, I only seem to only have an on/off switch, I don't seem to be able to just dial it down a bit.  Recently, I saw a documentary about juice fasting, which seems like the closest I can come to stop eating without completely ruining my health or productivity.

So I did some research before deciding to make this a part of my life.  There is a wealth of information available.  Many others have put forth their lessons learned, cautions, and recipes.  

Thursday, I picked up a juicer at Macy's, made by Breville, model JE98XL.  It was the last one and since some of the components came from the display unit, I requested and received a 10% discount.

Friday, I purchased the items I needed to do a 3 day juice fast.  It only cost $60, which is better than I expected.  $20/day isn't too bad since in the past I've spent as much $750/month.  Some of the recipes I found produced way too much juice while others produced very little so I made note of how many ounces I ended up with and adjusted the amount of ingredients since my machine may be more or less effective that then machine used by others.

While in the grocery store acquiring my items, I started to feel a little emotional about doing this juice fast.  I thought the random emotions and depression happened on the 2nd or 3rd day into it.  Apparently, I'm feeling something already.  These feelings remind me of the range of emotions Beatrix Kiddo was having at the end of Kill Bill II.  Are those laugh/cries of joy & sadness mixed together?  I guess what I'm feeling is that this fast represents my failure to control what I eat and keep from becoming obese.  Also, I feel some sense of elation over what I hope, I will accomplish through this diet reboot.

We shall see.

Subdivided receipt

It'd be great if grocery and department stores could subdivide our receipts into sections by product type with subtotals.  For instance, one grocery store that I use does group the purchases into categories like dairy, meat and bread but there's still only one total at the bottom.  Subdividing would be most beneficial at large department stores like Target or Walmart since they have a wide range of products from groceries to automotive.  For someone - and I'm sure there are many - who is operating on a budget, this would speed up the time spent tracking how much one is spending on different types of products. 

In the meantime, I'll continue to decipher the store codes on the receipt and add up each item in their separate categories on my own.

Camping at New Brighton State Beach, Capitola, CA

I like this place.  Especially after having been sand-blasted, wind-burned and subjected to 40 degree (F) wind chill factor at Jalama Beach.  When I first arrived though, I thought, 'oh great now I'm at a campground with 1,000 children and a campsite in the direct sun.'  I feel like I can't breath when the air is hot and was tired of being overexposed to the elements by this point.  However, I soon realized that with all the tall trees at this place, the sun would cast a shadow where I could easily seek shade.   Although the campground is up on a bluff, getting down to the beach was very quick and easy and totally worth it. 

The beach here is narrow, but its filled with lots of people clearly having a good time.  This is also an interesting beach since its on Monterrey Bay and there appears to be lots of driftwood and fire rings available.  A short walk heading northwest reveals a cliff face with several layers of shell fossils which was very cool indeed.  I wonder how many millions of years ago each layer represents and shall endeavor to learn about this some more.  Perhaps there's a book I should acquire.

I also realized that while there are many families around, most parents put their kids to bed early versus a campground filled with twenty-somethings staying up until 3 AM with their drunken drum circles.  So, this place suddenly got very quiet around 9PM, and since kids were sleeping, the adults were also being very quiet so as to not wake the kids.

The amenities include bathrooms, coin operated showers, plenty of dumpsters and recycling bins and the campsites are spacious.  The sites around the edges are enshrouded in trees while the central campsites are more open.  This campground isn't overly manicured so the grass is tall and has a rustic feel to it despite being near an urban are.

I stayed at site 69 which is tent only and there was a full family next to me.  The huge plus about this site is that its at the end of the line.  So there was only the forest and the things that lurk in there on the other side of me and very few passersby.  Everyone here is cordial and I felt safe.  Since most groups are families and I encountered no loaners I didn't strike up a conversation with anyone.  In the future I will seek a site similar to #69 by being on the periphery, however I will look for something that is a little closer to the bathrooms since I often have to go when enjoying bourbon by the campfire and it is far to quiet for me to get away with pissing in the woods near my campsite.

Spatial Temporal Organization

A while ago I was lamenting my lack of productivity.  Then it occurred to me that the place where I eat, watch TV, work and do pretty much everything are all the same spot; sitting in the same chair at the same desk and computer.  So this semester I decided to separate those things.

So far I at least get my work done at my desk at school.  Some entertainment does take place there (Hulu & Facebook).  I also save time on the commute, since I now spend half of my Mondays through Thursdays at school, working from 8 AM to 8 PM but at least it gets done there.  I view it as my job, since "student" is what I put on my tax return and its the reason behind my primary sources of money.

Now I need to separate it a little further.  Somehow separate the eating from the entertainment and work. This may be hard to do, but I'll try to figure something out soon.

Considerateness

I had a good friend who had one set of rules for his room mates, which were the three Cs; Cleanliness, Courtesy-ness and Considerateness.  These seem like a good philosophy to have when one has to share space with others in modern society.  This post of course is not for those that intend to live alone and not interact with others or only intend to interact with others who tolerate their every activity.  This post is for those that choose to live amongst other people especially in a populated area where many share public spaces.

There are too many that seem to be living in a vacuum, especially here in the Greater Los Angeles Area.  This attitude is surprising to me because I would assume that when one shares an area with 18 million others that people would be more accommodating but apparently the majority seem to more concerned with ignoring the others around them.  Or at the very least many seem to have a complete lack of concern over how their actions effect others.  There's much evidence of this on the highways which I'll be sure to expound upon in later posts.

Specifically, today I encountered two examples.  The first is a neighbor who, on Sunday morning, has her lawn sprinklers come on at 8 AM.  These sprinklers spray across each other, over the sidewalk and onto cars parked along the street.  I've observed people on their morning walk having to go out into the street to avoid getting soaked including a mother with a toddler in a stroller.  Perhaps this neighbor is unaware of when her sprinklers come on, or she doesn't know how to adjust them.  Whatever the reason may be, it seems to me that one should have awareness of how their possessions are affecting others.  For instance one wouldn't start mowing the lawn at 6:30 AM even though the sun has risen, I think many know that such an action would be considered rude.  So, why let other actions have an equally as rude of an effect.

The other example is one I'm sure many others have come across too and that is people who let their dogs take a dump without picking it up.  Someone then steps in this and then tracks dog shit into their car and apartment.  This is just wrong and rude.

Sometimes I wonder if these actions are just mindlessness or are people just being inconsiderate towards others because someone was inconsiderate towards them.

So what is the best way forward, should I become the one who polices everyone's actions?  Or send the neighbor a letter?  Should we establish laws or some other method of repercussions?  One thing I am working on is being more tolerant.  I try to let things wash over me; but must I always be the one who gives way to everyone else when so many seem to just take and take and take whatever others will give them.  Is it possible to become the kind of person that laughs at getting dog shit stuck in their sneaker?  Although I am working on being more zen about things, since I'm not there yet, hopefully bitching about inconsiderateness within the blogosphere will be enough to satiate my needs, otherwise I might snap and give one these people a verbal thrashing.

Time Travel Limitations

I just finished watching Slaughterhouse-Five, the 1972 film adaptation of Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.'s novel (1969) of the same name.  Back when I used to get DVDs from those mail order clubs, this film was always prominently featured but I never ordered it.  So it was nice to finally see it.  The biggest thing that strikes me about watching these older flicks is how many ideas that I once thought as unique in more recent movies may actually have come from the older film.  For instance, the scenes with Billy Pilgrim in the dome being observed by the omni-present but unseen Tralfamadorians who wanted the humans to perform made me think of The Truman Show by Peter Weir, Andrew Niccol and Jim Carrey.  

But the main concept from Slaughterhouse that I wish to explore is this idea that our main character jumps through time but only within his own lifetime.  For Slaughterhouse-Five each time period is about the main character so it is relevant that the time travel be limited to his lifetime.  What I find interesting is that this concept is also the main theme to Quantum Leap by Donald Bellisario, Scott Bakula and Dean Stockwell, where Dr. Sam Beckett jumps through time into other people's lives but only during his own lifetime.   

Why only during his own lifetime? 

Another show that comes to mind is Journeyman (2007) by Kevin Falls and Kevin McKidd.  This was a short-lived TV show where the main character jumps through time but unlike Leap he is seen as himself from his native time.  However, similar to Quantum Leap the protagonists' objective is to help someone. 

Donnie Darko is a little different.  This movie allows the viewer to witness parallel lifetimes and most of the events occur within one of the timeframes of Donnie's life but apparently events from this timeline can affect the other timeline.  Or Donnie has a superpower.  I need to re-watch this again to really get a grasp on what happens when.  However, I'm not so sure that this film applies to the question that I am attempting to address here.

There are plenty of websites that categorize the different time travel rules that have been established in Sci-Fi.  Such as the timeline is fixed and nothing can change it (Terminator) or you can go back change something that might erase your existence (Back to the Future), etc.  So I won't attempt to define all the different theories of time travel here. 

The reason for this posting

I'm sure there are other films and probably ten times the number of books with this common theme of jumping through time with the caveat of the time frame being limited to one's own lifetime.    I'd be interested in hearing from those who know better than I, what these other books and films are.  I'm curious as to where the idea for this limitation was conceived and how its been applied to help explain why this limitation should or should not exist.

It'd be uninteresting to find that this concept simply originated from Slaughterhouse-Five.  I suspect that it may have been suggested in a Star Trek episode or an even earlier sci-fi short story.  I suppose the immediate benefit of limiting travel to one's one lifetime is that there's less chance of one person completely altering life on Earth as we know it in the present, since one can only go back 20-60 years.  Plus it limits the vast majority of characters living in 2012, for instance, from going back to influence some profoundly significant event like Pearl Harbor or the JFK assassination.  Another benefit is that the traveler can never be certain of when they die since they could only theoretically travel up to that moment but not see beyond it to know for sure if that is when they ceased to breath.  Therefore, this limitation reduces the chance that a character would become motivated to prevent their demise .

Camping Gear

Wake up after a very cool night, the temp was down to 46 F.  I don't mind, my fat keeps me warm.  I'm using a new sleeping matt, but the slight slope on which I placed the tent causes everything to bunch up a little.  The matt is nice I got a great deal on it and it keeps me from bottoming out on the ground.  Prior to this matt I used layers of yoga matts, exercises matts and a backpacking matt.

The tent is a Kelty Teton 2, its a 'three season' tent and by 'three season,' I think they mean late spring to early fall.  They should keep the names to areas that suit the tent and this one should be called the San Diego, its great in warm weather with all of its ventilation but the fly isn't big enough for rainy weather and that ventilation makes it quite cool.   Overall though I love the easy setup, light weight and vestibule for my boots.  Besides, I'd rather keep warm with a good sleeping bag and a fleece blanket.

My pillow is off my bed, this will be difficult to replace as I like to sleep on my side and that creates a large space to fill in order for my head to be up.  I'll have to learn how to bring a stuff sack and use that for a pillow.

My goal is to reduce the amount of stuff I bring when camping, since I tend to fill the car and its only me.  Although I bring too much for two days, I could survive on it for a week.  So at least I know what to bring if I was going to be camping for an extended period of time.

Time to get some work done, started in on the grading. I know, I'm a looser but there's so much that it needs to get done sometime.  To make up for it, I open the bourbon. 

Bourbon for this trip is Jefferson's Straight Bourbon Whiskey.  Its nice, but I don't quite have the sort of discerning palate that can tell the difference between one bourbon or another.

The rest of the trip goes well and I suck at concluding things.

365 Days Until I'm 40

13 April 2012, its my 39th birthday and I've gone camping to kick off my final year as a thirtysomething.  I'm alone for this one.  I asked others to join, one expressed interest but ultimately no one could make it.  I suppose I'm just not the sort of person that people are going to choose to do something with over the other things that they'd rather do. 

Its supposed to rain today, but those who said it would can suck it, because it really didn't rain that much.  The reports said it would stop by midnight, so my plan was to go up, claim a spot and if the rain was too bad I'd hang out in my car until it stopped then set up camp.  And the rain was a downpour in several spots on my way up, but by the time I got to Plaskett Creek it was sunny with a slight breeze.

I stopped into Pismo Beach to find a site for my research project but couldn't find the cave that my adviser told me about.  So, I walked around instead to check out the beach and see what intertidal animals did exist and whether there was a good spot to deploy my temperature sensors anyway.  Pismo has a huge deep beach with lots of access points.  It was the sort of day were no one was out there.  Too many soft people around who appear to be unwilling to get out of their car.  That's fine, I'll enjoy it by myself.  While walking around, I imagine what the beach will look like in the middle of a hot day this upcoming summer with lots of people.

Soon enough my stomach begins to grumble and I think, 'what the hell its my birthday,' so I stop into a nice restaurant for a bite to eat.  The Ventana Grill has spectacular views and the ocean is a particularly nice mix of blue shades from deep blue to that crystal blue typical of the eyes on a malamute.  Other patrons watch as I write furiously in my journal, causing my table to shake a little and the water in my glass is making bigger waves that what I can see out on the Pacific.  I wonder what they think, 'Is he a writer' or 'why is that fat man all by himself writing in a weird looking brown journal with a cheap government pen'.  However, this is California and most likely they forget I existed within a tenth of a second.  Releasing any inhibitions I decide to photography the menu cover.  It looks nice.

Checking the cell phone, I see Mom called, but can't seem to complete the connection so that I can listen to the message.  I'm sure its her annual greeting at the exact minute I was born in Eastern Standard Time.  Nonetheless I've saved previous versions of this in my voice mail so I can hear my Mom wishing me a happy birthday whenever I wish.  This of course is ridiculous because she's alive and well and we talk frequently enough.

Well the creative juices are flowing now and the muscle that gives me an opposable thumb is aching, but I'm not going to stop and I fill up my journal pages with ideas and thoughts.

The waitress is cute, her eyes match the ocean.  If I were a better looking man, with confidence, I'd compliment her.

The food arrives, its seafood penne in one of those wide lipped shallow bowls.  I instantly think there's not much food in there and I won't get my $15 worth.  Thankfully I was wrong and the meal is delicious.  The sauce is tangy in a Cali-mex sort of way or maybe that's just the freshly ground pepper.  Bottom line: I like it.

Plaskett Creek is a nice campground, I've stayed here before, most of the tent sites are on a slight slope but the area is spacious when compared to other campgrounds, I feel like I have a little bit of privacy.  Its not full yet, but many start showing up around 5 PM.